Trying it out Again

Well, it’s been a while since I last got my thinking head back into writing in my own blog.

Truth is, one reason I do not write so much is that because I do not believe anyone would be interested to read.

Well,gladly, according to WordPress stats, some actually bump into my blog and read. So for that, thanks a lot.

Perhaps, let me start with an ‘aha’ moment that drove me to write something today.

A friend of mine actually asked me through Facebook messenger why she is not seeing any new posts in my blog anymore.

Trying to cover up and perhaps even running away from the conversation, I said the all too-classic, ‘I’ ve been busy’ excuse.

However, given that she knows me better than that, she said: ‘Honey, you’ re never busy for something you are passionate about… I mean, you should never be busy for something that you love to do’.

Her line got me thinking really deep.

I’ve been frustrated lately. Finding it really hard to be happy about everything because I feel that I repetitively dissapoint myself.

I am always sick and yet I cannot rest because I just have so many responsibilities in my plate that I have no time even to rest. (sorry for ranting :))

Looking back, writing was the vessel that carried me through the hardest times of my life. I still remember the time when I had nothing but a pen and paper for a companion and all I could do is scribble down words that I think would actually make me feel better.

I write for myself. I know no one would read it, so I just ramble about anything I want to say about anything and about anyone. I did not care what anyone else would say because all I want was to say what my mind has to let out so I could free my head from the pressure.

Now that I have. My blog to open up myself to, all I could think about is ‘what would my readers say?’….

I remember one speaker in one of the ESL teaching trainings I attended saying “Writing is the greatest tool of expression anyone could have… Well then if you have it, flaunt it”… It was a joke that carried the conversation to a much deeper realization. She further added, “when you write, you share a piece of yourself to your readers. So, don’t you think they deserve to know the truth? After all, you only write with passion when you pour the truths of your heart into it”… makes a lot of sense, yes?

With this in my head, I realized at that moment that there is no joke to being a writer. Because writing does not only mean putting your thoughts into words, it means sharing yourself to the others and making yourself vulnerable to their criticisms.

I am still mustering on working up on that courage-because if I continue to be a writer, then I want to be that writer who is brave enough to share her truth to those who will believe her.

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